It Only took 33 Years to Figure This Out.

You think you know most of everything right. From the time you are old enough to understand certain concepts, like putting your shoes on the right feet, and then tying them. Being L.D.S, and born in an L.D.S, family (a long line of them). I just went along with the ride. I was very dependent on my parents and grandparents' testimonies. It was just assumed that what I was taught was true, not one question asked. Lately, I have had some experiences in my life that have been difficult. I remember feeling kind of bummed that I wasn't a convert, you probably think that is really silly, but I do. I was jealous of people who searched and prayed and found out on their own that they believed, and that they had thier own testimony. We all have certain events in our lives that strengthen our testimonies. I know that I have. But lately, I have faltered, even to the point of "do I have a true testimony"? I pondered this and the results were disturbing. I thought I was strong, I thought that I was stellar in the church. After 33 years of life it hit me. Have I ever asked my heavenly father if the church is true? I have I searched the scriptures as a investigator would? I fear my answer to those questions are no, I have not. I have just been living on a borrowed testimony. So I put myself to the challenge. I prayed, and I searched and I thought of all the trials I have been through, and I thought of all the blessings I have received, not only from those trials, but from day to day. Finally, I asked to know if it was true. I have said a gazillion of prayers in my time, and some have been from my bed just lying there, some have been in the girls' bathroom just before a major exam, and some have been on planes praying I wont die. I can honestly tell you, that kneeling makes a huge difference. We are teaching our children the proper way to pray in primary, and at home. I was forgetting this basic concept. Kneeling brings you closer to him. I have had 4 surgeries on my knee, so I always have an excuse to not kneel I am ashamed to say. When I wanted to find my testimony, I knew I had to kneel, so I did. After 33 years, my eyes have been opened. How many times have you born your testimony and felt that burning in your chest, a lot right. Well this was 10 times more powerful than that. I felt like I was seeing and feeling things for the first time. I know that this church it true. I know that my savior died for me. I know that I have a loving Heavenly Father. I remember repeating these basic facts in Young Womens every Sunday, but I never stopped to think, have I ever asked with a sincere heart if it was really true. I bet you all think I am crazy writing this, but I know that there are people out there who are like me, brought up in an L.D.S. household your whole life, being taught that it was true. Now I know for myself that yes, it is and I am forever changed, it only took 33 years. Thank you mom and dad for the foundation, I just needed to start building on my own. I challenge you all to examine your testimony, dig deep and ask for yourself, you will be surprised what you will find, it is never to late.