It Only took 33 Years to Figure This Out.

You think you know most of everything right. From the time you are old enough to understand certain concepts, like putting your shoes on the right feet, and then tying them. Being L.D.S, and born in an L.D.S, family (a long line of them). I just went along with the ride. I was very dependent on my parents and grandparents' testimonies. It was just assumed that what I was taught was true, not one question asked. Lately, I have had some experiences in my life that have been difficult. I remember feeling kind of bummed that I wasn't a convert, you probably think that is really silly, but I do. I was jealous of people who searched and prayed and found out on their own that they believed, and that they had thier own testimony. We all have certain events in our lives that strengthen our testimonies. I know that I have. But lately, I have faltered, even to the point of "do I have a true testimony"? I pondered this and the results were disturbing. I thought I was strong, I thought that I was stellar in the church. After 33 years of life it hit me. Have I ever asked my heavenly father if the church is true? I have I searched the scriptures as a investigator would? I fear my answer to those questions are no, I have not. I have just been living on a borrowed testimony. So I put myself to the challenge. I prayed, and I searched and I thought of all the trials I have been through, and I thought of all the blessings I have received, not only from those trials, but from day to day. Finally, I asked to know if it was true. I have said a gazillion of prayers in my time, and some have been from my bed just lying there, some have been in the girls' bathroom just before a major exam, and some have been on planes praying I wont die. I can honestly tell you, that kneeling makes a huge difference. We are teaching our children the proper way to pray in primary, and at home. I was forgetting this basic concept. Kneeling brings you closer to him. I have had 4 surgeries on my knee, so I always have an excuse to not kneel I am ashamed to say. When I wanted to find my testimony, I knew I had to kneel, so I did. After 33 years, my eyes have been opened. How many times have you born your testimony and felt that burning in your chest, a lot right. Well this was 10 times more powerful than that. I felt like I was seeing and feeling things for the first time. I know that this church it true. I know that my savior died for me. I know that I have a loving Heavenly Father. I remember repeating these basic facts in Young Womens every Sunday, but I never stopped to think, have I ever asked with a sincere heart if it was really true. I bet you all think I am crazy writing this, but I know that there are people out there who are like me, brought up in an L.D.S. household your whole life, being taught that it was true. Now I know for myself that yes, it is and I am forever changed, it only took 33 years. Thank you mom and dad for the foundation, I just needed to start building on my own. I challenge you all to examine your testimony, dig deep and ask for yourself, you will be surprised what you will find, it is never to late.

4th of July Festivities

I love the 4th of July, every year since we have been back in Idaho we get invited to the most awesome party ever. Jolene and Jim are awesome, their family is awesome, and the entertainment is awesome. We look forward to it every year. THIS year they added a new attraction to the party. It is called, DUNK EVERYONE IN THE POOL. Amy got it first, because of her new husband, then he got it, and they just had to take it all out on us innocent party goers. Christina, Ashlee, Anna, and even Jim got it. James and I as well. I am still trying to figure out how Dave Poulsen avoided the pool, maybe next year. ANYWAY...the kids had a blast in the pool, and the food was incredible. Thank you Passey's for a successful and fun party.

Later that night we held the annual "We don't go to the fireworks" party. Friends as well as family attended. We had so much fun. Who knew that our firework display was going to take 2 hours. The kids had tons of fun. Then we watched a movie on the wall of the house with the projector. Anyone out there who doesn't like to go to the infamous fireworks at the river is welcome next year. We have a riot. I am grateful for all my freedoms. I am very grateful for the troops, and what they have done for our country. God Bless them, and God Bless America!

359 Days Apart

July 3, 2003- I had been on bed rest for 6 weeks, and I was ready to have this baby. I remember having such awful pain and discomfort for weeks. July 2nd was the day I was going to have this little girl. My doctor had other plans. He was stuck in Lake Powell with a flat tire, no not a car tire, but a plane tire (oh the woes of being rich). ANYWAY...we waited and waited. James finally went home, they would not release me. SO July 2 came and went, July 3 was upon us. I was positive that my doctor, or some doctor would take pity on me. Not so much. My doctor finally arrives later that night, if I remember it was around 8 p.m. Hallelujah let's get the show on the road right, WRONG James really really wants a 4th of July Baby. So he won't let the doctor break my water until midnight. So after weeks and weeks of pure pain and discomfort, I waited and waited till midnight. McKinley Rae Williams was born July 4th at 5 a.m. James got his wish and I got a beautiful baby finally. McKinley has a smile to die for. She makes me laugh everyday. I love this little girl.

Fast forward to 359 days later, I once again am in Labor with our 3rd baby girl. July 4th is 6 days away. James wants another 4th baby, I won this one, I had been in the hospital for 1 week and during that fabulous stay I had a blood transfusion. This baby was not going to wait for the 4th, so on June 28, 2005 I delivered another beautiful baby girl. Raegan Dawn Williams is my last baby. I can't believe she is now 4 years old. Raegan is bright, and smart. She is such a pretty girl. Her personality is funny and unpredictable. Since these 2 babies have birthdays 6 days apart, we decided to celebrate their birthdays together. What a fun birthday this was. We had a bouncy house, a cotton candy machine, and deep fried onion rings (they were to die for), and french fries. I have been known to do cakes, so after 2 years of retirement, I made them castle cakes. Raegan had a purple one and McKinley had a pink one (of course). These princess are truly a blessing in my life. Even though it was extremely difficult to get them here, I know that everyday on bed rest was worth it. I thank my heavenly father for blessing me and trusting me with these two special princesses.

I'm Back

I know it has been a long time since I have blogged. I deleted my blog last October for personal reasons and I feel now that I would like to start up again. I saved all my blog entries in a word document so I could go back and read them. I cherish those entries. I also know that I have not written in a journal since I stopped. I can remember little snippets of the the last 7 months, but not much. I feel that if I started to blog again I can remember my day to day experiences, and or my month to month events. I want to be able to record and save these memories, however I have proved to myself that I can't write in a journal. I have tried, and literally I have failed. So this is for me, and my family. My mom doesn't facebook, and my dad hardly does, so I want them to be able to keep in touch with them and since they are computer people, I want to do this for them as well. I was not the greatest blogger before, and I probably won't be now, but I am going to give it my best. I also miss catching up with my friends, so hopefully now I will be truly in the loop.